My birthday month started early

Thanks to my amazing hubby Billy and bestest friend Lynnsey. My birthday we started at the end of February. Yes I am one of ‘those people.’ I celebrate ALL MONTH LONG. I mean how many times really are you going to have your annual 23rd birthday? Well this year is my 16th annual 23rd birthday. Which is my second sweet 16! Eeekkkk well I’m excited!!!!

About a month ago Billy told me not to plan anything at the end of February. The 27-28. Soo hard for me. I plan every aspect of my life and Wed and Thurs are crazy busy for the boys. And that’s was all he would tell me. Just don’t plan ANYTHING! A couple days before he’s all ohh remember you can’t go anything Wed-Fri. Friday! I did have plans on Fri…. he said not To worry about anything. Everything is taking care of. Boys… life… everything! Hard for me. Hard for me.

Wednesday February 27th came. I still had things in the morning todo. Things I had to do and couldn’t get out of. Boys to school, 8:30am meeting and bank deposits. Billy said a delivery was happening at 11am. At 10:30 Billy txt me ‘make sure the house is clean’ WHAT! I’m on my hands and knees freaking out… what kind of delivery is coming into my house? My pig pen hot mess of a house! With kids and dogs, moving and packing, just a hot fricking mess!!!! Door bell rings and

My Lynnsey was here! Surprised me just being here but taking me away! She got an AirBnB in Tahoe. (knowing if we were in town, it’d be to easy for me to come home and take care of something)

I love my Lynnsey so very. Miss her and wish we would get more time together. Time like this was perfect. Perfect and needed. Really didn’t get it and understand how much I needed away down time until I got it! Thank you Billy and Lynnsey💜

Lynnsey got the cutest AirBnB like right on the lake. It was perfect. All was perfect we sat there and talked drank Sangria the first night. It was wonderful.

Thursday we spent to more drinking coffee and girlie time. Then went and got a massage (my first actual massage massage) and Lynnsey starts me off with a hot stone massage…. where have you been my whole life!!! Auhmazing!! After the massage the lady is all after you get dressed we will talk out here. Yep she realized how fucked up my neck and back are! Felt great. Hurt but great!!! Thinking about it… I think I need another massage like right now……

Met up with some friends of Lynnsey’s got lunch. Ppl she worked with that are now in Tahoe. Cool cool ppl.

Had a cocktail that tasted just like grapefruit! I love grapefruit, I miss grapefruit! With it causing sudden death with William, we kinda don’t have ANYTHING grapefruit! I guess I don’t have an actual picture of the drink which is weird but… yummy yummy and worth talking about.

Then when down to the lake for a bit! So freaking windy, so freaking cold but damn so freaking beautiful!

I mean look at that WOW! No words…

After just talking and talking with my Lynnsey, an amazing massage and just getting to just be here and not have to worry about a thing it just… you never know what you truly need until you get it! Billy and Lynnsey knew. They knew I needed this! Love you both💙

Then then… we went to Ritz-Carlton for dinner!

Happy we make it… haha. The snow up here is crazy!!

Lynnsey of course had everything set up. Beautiful, amazing delicious!

I love you my Lynnsey. Perfect it all was perfect

We definitely need more us time. I had an amazing time!

Friday came ohh to soon! But not without going back to the lake a lil bit for some more pics.

So cold and windy. Pictures don’t do it justice at all.

Home home home of course we need champagne! Lynnsey got the most delicious champagne. Delish

Lynnsey opened it. After I dropped the bottle… oops….

Of course leave it to me to drop the freaking bottle of champagne! Haha Oh my goodness. Thank you my Lynnsey. Really really thank you. Had such a great amazing time. A time I needed. Just need to see you more often. I need to make that effort too. And I will. You and Billy did good. Love you 💕

And to end the fun fun weekend Billy and I took my Lynnsey to Fireside Lounge. Chill place with big drinks.

I truly had to best week the best weekend the best start to my birthday month the best friend and the best husband ever!

Love you my Lynnsey love you 😘

💚☮️🐠

Goodbye 2018

And hello 2019!

What a busy crazy year. Every year really. Every year is busy. Every year is crazy. Every year I think I’m gonna get my crap together and every year everything goes to shit! Not completely but man!! I am more busy than ever it seems. I really put so much on my plate. And always am adding more. I just can’t say no. Plus I do like being busy. I do.. why?.. but I do, unfortunately because of that I put a lot on the back burner. Like MY health and this blog. My health I can get into that later. But my blog. I love it more than I can say yet.. why can’t I do it? In July, yes JULY, I blogged I’m back. And here it is the end of December and… why why why?!?! I really wanted to be back and somehow that just didn’t happen. I’m going to be setting goals for myself for 2019 and this blog is gonna be at the top of my list. I just do feel better when I blog.

This is my life now:

Planning my life away! If I don’t plan and have everything down… my brain just can’t. And this is the situation right now. Looks a mess but it’s not! It’s organizing everything. Life, kids, business(es), hubby, family, health, the New Year, move, new house… I can go on and on. My planners save my life. More on my planning and planners later….

… Here I am saying more later. Because I want to elaborate later. I want to blog later and more often. I want to and hope I do. Gonna gonna truly try. Hey if I put it in my planner I will do it. And so am and I will.

So, here’s to 2019

And I’m Back….

Well… hopefully. I really want to be anyways. I do truly miss blogging. Miss getting out my thoughts and blah blahhness out. It does make me feel better. I have my planners for my each and every thing and aspect of my life. Which is everything!! Don’t know how I ever lived with out it. Never ever would go back to not having my life planned. But I do miss my blog. And need it back in my life. As I always have, I write out each and every blog then I post. That will stay the same.

I really hope I can keep to it. Anything dealing with social media has been difficult for me. I can’t explain really. But it has been hard. I’ve slowly started to post and try and… Not even near the normal me. I most likely will never be back to normal Jess posting. But but. Trying. Billy posts enough for both of us now haha.

I just need my blog back for me! My blogs always been for me. Time to get it back!

19days AND 1day til Vegas

Yes that is right twice this month it Vegas Baby!

So my countdown for my birthday Vegas trip has been going and it’s 19 days. Whooo hooo!! A whole week and yay sooo needed. I didn’t get to go last year. Was kinda in the hospital with my William. So I’ve been sooo excited for this year. I mean I only turn 23… hummm how many times. Yeah yeah my 14th annual 23rd. Whatever! I didn’t have a birthday last year so really have been looking forward to this year. It is a little bit earlier this year Feb 27th- Mar 5th. Only in 19days…. yayyyy!!! And the planning has been in the works.

Now for the second trip that we fly out tomorrow. Yeah!!! We fly there then drive home Saturday in our new car. We are getting a car from some friends. Since my car was declared a total loss. Which just finally got taking care of. Accident was the end of September. But hey. Get to go to Vegas for the night. Okay!!! Friends hooked us up with a room at the Rio. Never have stayed at the Rio before. Always like staying and new places in Vegas. Have my favs of course but me likes staying new. So tomorrow’s trip nothing big planned really. Since it is a last minute trip and only one night and we will be back for my big trip just 18days later haha. But I do wanna check out the pool at the Rio since I’ve never been of course. We are having dinner with friends. And I wanna go to VooDoo. I have been to VooDoo before but it is hella cool and Rio’s not really on the strip. So staying there seems right. Up early (for Billy) 7am and drive home in time for Billy to make the Nevada Basketball game.

Last minute night in Vegas okay!

Life!

Life is something ya know! This year has been something! To say my life is a roller coaster is an understatement. So much has happened in 2017 yet it flew by faster than anything. In lil over a month 2017 will be done and gone. All I️ can pray really is that 2018 is a tad bit better. Not everything this year has been a crap show hence the roller coaster life, but a big portion yep. And hey a lil over a month to have more piled on! Definitely fingers are crossed fingers are crossed. But with my life you never know!!

My initial intent for blogging was to send a thank you to everyone who sent well wishes, get wells, prayers, love, txt, calls, and even visited while I️ was in the hospital. It was a scary time a horrible time and I️ truly hope to never go they any of it again. Getting better now and hope to be me again soon. So thank you thank you to all who cared enough to even think of me….

Like I️ said my initial intent was just the thank you. And some how it started of with a roller coaster… my roller coaster. The thank you is something I️ really truly needed to do. Means more than anyone can or will ever know! I️ can’t believe ppl even think to wish me well. William of course what that kid has gone through but me. Thank you.

This year I️ have taken a major step back from all social media. Hence why I️ don’t blog as often as I️ want to but I️ don’t do any social media really. I️ just can’t bring myself to do it. I️ want to! I️ really do! I️ really started when William had his first brain surgery this year, yep I️ said First! I️ couldn’t bring myself to even look at my phone let alone get on social and post. And when I️ did pick up my phone ppl were upset and mad that I️ wasn’t answering or whatever. I️ just thought ‘ I’m sorry I’m not making things better for you while my son is getting his head drilled into or cut open or or or….’ I️ just couldn’t. Billy was updating everyone on social and family as much as he could. Maybe that was bad on me I️ had that fall on him but I️ just couldn’t. And now it’s still hard for me. I️ over think what I️ post. So I️ just don’t most the time… I just don’t. I️ really really wanna get back to being me!

Hoping this next month and into next year. More of a steady ride than a roller coaster. There will always be bumps in the road I️ know that. We’ve always had those bumps and keep going. This year has definitely tested with more loops and turns and twists on my roller coaster life. I️ really truly don’t know how but kept going even through it all.

Hello my blog world

I hate when I don’t blog for a while and come back and say ‘how I missed it’ how it makes me feel better to blog’ I hate it because it’s all true and I always say it! I always end up having life get in the the way. I always have my blog be put on the back burner. Which sucks because it does make me feel better. Even just to get out my stupid feeling and thoughts. I have my planners. Yes I said ‘planners’ I’ll get into that later.  But the planners are different. At least they have been keeping my mind a lil sane. With how life has been I truly need something to keep me just a lil sane. 

I normally write out a blog before typing it in and blogging. Cause I’m just weird like that. I have so so soooo many blogs written out and that’s just as far as they have gotten. Why who knows. Up until recently. And recently about everyday I’m like I need to blog… then life .., and I didn’t end up blogging. This morning as I’m thinking I need to plan out next week, I am just blogging. Talking to myself around in circles and just feeling a release. I am weird and I know it. My own special kind of weird!

Every time I come back, I say, ‘ ohh I’m gonna stay I’m gonna blog I’m gonna blahh blahh blahh’ I just can’t say that. Trust me I want to I wanna blog. It’s just life seems to happen and my life lately is not something I even wanna be in. I’ve been taking a lot of complete social media breaks. Like completely!! I just can’t do it. Billy is always there and keeps everyone updated if needed. But there are sometimes I just can’t! For me it’s different, for me it’s weird, for me it’s odd. But unless you completely know what I’m going through. Unless you completely are going through something similar you won’t get it. 

When life happens even things you love get put in the back burner!

Britney Ever After

I love Britney Spears! You know me… you know this. Billy always says in my eyes he can do no wrong. And that if Brits involved I love… no matter what. Which in a lot of cases I agree that’s true… who am I kidding most cases yes yes that’s true. Who am I to try and say different! Just love her!!!

Crazy enough I didn’t even know about this Lifetime biopic Britney Ever after until last Tuesday. Yeah like only 4 days til it aired!! What! And I call myself a fan no no more like Stan. I usually know everything that is Britney Spears. And I knew nothing of Britney Ever after.. At least I didn’t hear about it after it aired. After the fact. I woulda been real ticked at myself. Yes I have been a bit busy and my mind has been elsewhere. Ya know on my family and my sons issues. But still!!!!

Okay, so let’s get into this. My opinion of Britney Ever After. It aired Saturday Feb 18th. Of course I watched it as it aired. Of course! So it’s now been a few days since. And I let it sink in… haha… let me see… did those who put this biopic together know NOTHING about Britney!?! Where did they get their information from?!?! And you coulda at least googled some shit!

To start with Britney didn’t even give her okay to make this about her. She wanted nothing to do with it. How can they even without her blessing?!! And because of her not giving approval they couldn’t use any of her music. Yeah that’s right! What?!? What is a movie about a singer and not able to use that persons music?!?! Are you kidding me! The only music they were able to use were a few covers she had. Stupid! I mean Britney without Britney. Come on now. Her Rebs back in August said that 

‘Britney will not contribute in any way, shape, or form to the Lifetime biopic nor does it have her blessing.’

I can definitely see why!

So, sticking with the not having approval from Britney. You gotta bet they didn’t have Justin Timberlands approval either! They definitely made him out to be… how do I even say… they made him out to be an over jealous, over sexual flat out ASS! Yes of course they most likely had sex come on. But the way they portrayed it… And a sex tape that was stolen, don’t you think someone somehow woulda heard something or it woulda been leaked?!! Yeah… don’t believe it at all. And yes it was always made out that Brit cheated. I mean –Cry me a River– but with her choreographer Wade guy… I dunno new to me! Ohh and the best part. The relationship completely ended with a dance off at a club… yeah sure cause that happens!! What haha wow!

So you couldn’t use Britney’s music in a movie about her… okay.. What was wrong with at least getting iconic outfits right! I guess you’re already wrong might as well go all the way Huhh… Hiw hard would it have been?!! The 2001 American Music Awards both Justin and her were in denim. She wore a full on denim dress not a jumpsuit! 2003 MTV VMAs the Madonna outfit. Wrong! At least they didn’t attempt to butcher Madonna. Her 2007 MTV VMAs outfit– not to mention Justin going to her dressing room before and quoting something. Who told this story?!?! Who who why?!?! Her wig in 2007 was pink! Pink ppl!! Pink. Wouldn’t have been hard to find a pink damn wig that’s all I’m saying. And that’s just naming a few. It’s shouldn’t have been that hard. Iconic things. Iconic!

The casting was much to be desired. Britney wasn’t even close. Justin, I’m not even gonna go there. I will say Larry Rudolph looked spot on. And the parts about Sam Lutifi close.

One of the worst things is how they made Britney be. Helpless, dumb, almost incompetent, obsessing over Justin, which I get s lil come on it’s Judtin frickin Timberlake. But if she cheated… All they had her do was wonder what Justin thought and what Justin saw. She’s not that stupid. A very smart woman actually and they made her out to be just dumb!

I got it was supposed to be based on the Britney: For the Record and everything, but the whole timeline was off. Skipping around to things that happened after others. And whatever. Of course adding their own story. St the end they did put a disclaimer that something’s were made for the story or whatever the words were. They should have said ‘This is our made up story of what we wanted the Britney story to be’ 

Ya know yes I did watch this fully knowing how the other Lifetime biopics went. I watched them as well. Aaliyah, Whitney, Liz Taylor, Anna Nicole…. But it’s Britney! And yes I will watch anything Britney Spears. Sadly if they came out with another I’d watch that too! But I can have my opinion and it seems I’m not really the only one with a similar opinion. And it doesn’t take a complete Britney Crazy fan like myself to know a flat out lie of a movie!

Burger King Adult Meal

First of all ‘Mom doesn’t like Burgee King’ That’s right eww…  I do not at all like Burger King. Not a fast food I like. I’d rather not eat than have Burger King. And William can spot on anywhere. And says ‘Mom doesn’t like Burger King’ at every single o e he sees. I just don’t at all like the taste. Also while in high school there was a BK right next to the school. And a friend worked there. 

Anyways back to why in the hell im even blogging about Burger King. I just saw article after article that yesterday on Valentines Day Burger King was offering a value meal type deal called the Adult Meal. Something sorta like a kids meal of sorts. With something a tad different than a kids meal. Kids meals come with a toy… well the Adult Meal came with a toy as well….. yep it did! It included 2 Whoppers, 2 Fries, 2 Beers, and a romantic adult toy… yep an adult toy. A sex toy!!!! 

Only available in Israel, everyone everywhere else other than Israel sorry you were just out of luck! Only yesterday Valentines Day February 14. Only after 6pm til close. And only to over the age of 18yrs. Well, of course….

I have no words. Haha no words!

Ohhh today…..

Ohh today has been a day!

Started soo grand! So frickin…. well as most days… yep it was a morning as most my mornings go. 

But today William was off from the get go. Up at the but crack of dawn ad usually but extremely tired. I thought it was just he was tired! He went to the Wolf Pack game with Billy and grandpa. It was a later game last night. Didn’t even start til 8pm. —-Killed UNLV by the way—- So yeah just thought he was extra tired. 

Cooper didn’t go to the game last night. After his acting class he said he wasn’t feeling to good. Throat and head wasn’t feeling good. Even fell asleep on the way to the game when I was dropping them off. Since William and I had Mommas date while Coop was in class. So yeah he didn’t go to the game. Just came home with me and went to bed. 

Coop woke up this morning feeling and looking worse!!! Of course he couldn’t go to school. He didn’t look good even to me soo. If I would of sent him he woulda go to the nurse and woulda been sent home and couldn’t go tomorrow either. That’s how the school is. Sometimes it’s worth it to keep him home on days even if I think he’s fine. Today was a different story thou he didn’t look good.

 So back to bed he went. There is a rule thou you are home sick no xbox. If  you are to sick for school you are to sick to play video games. Wasn’t an issue today. He slept a good chunk of the day. 

Now back to William.

We had to bring Billy to work this morning. I always drive him to work on Wednesdays. Momma date days. Easier to only have one car and I normally have a cocktail or two or… more. Holy cotton candy lemon drops are effing amazing!!! Anyways anyways Billy had to be to work earlier and I couldn’t bring him because of Williams bus yesterday. So he just left the truck and I dropped them off at the game last night. Easier. 

Anyways anyways on the way back home this morning after dropping Billy off (still was enough time to get back home for Williams bus) William had fallen asleep on the way there. Well on the way home he had a huge seizure. I had to pull over…. 

Got home, he slept a bit then was up and wouldn’t take no school for an answer. He truly truly loves his school. I love that. When the bus came I really was iffy on sending him. But told the bus driver and aid everything. And said I will have my phone. 

No surprises he had a seizure at school. (I shoulda just listened to myself and kept him home. He just misses some much and loves it there so much) He was sitting by the pool. He hasn’t been cleared to swim because of everything going on. Surgeries and all. But was just sitting by the pool during pool time. With Tom an aid in his class that he just loves. I guess was saying he wasn’t okay then started to seize. A pretty big seizure, biggest one he’s had there. Even was throwing up during it. Lasted a few minutes and didn’t wake up after for almost 7mins. I shouldn’t have sent him. I feel horrible I did. 

Picked him up and Coop made the couch all up for him. Even had some rolls made for him. What a great brother. Even when he’s not feeling good he makes sure William is alright. 

Seizures off and on all day today! 

The morning just started off wrong. I didn’t even get my first sip of coffee forever. Then the day just…. got…. ohhh I don’t even know! 

Just a day, and not what I needed. I had things planned and yeah not a one got done. Having both kids home just thru everything off. 

Already got a message that tomorrow is gonna be a 2 hour delay for school. Yikes… isn’t it just a butt load of rain… I dunno. And man I was gonna go by myself to see Darker. Yes by myself cause I have no friends, Billy doesn’t wanna go and has to work ever second of his life!

With Billy working doubles every day of his life…. just sucks!!!! 

Well that day can just me over. Thank you. Just it’s only 6:30pm but good frickin night…..

Thank You!

I wanna send the biggest thank you to every single person that sent any well wishes, get well, like, message, text, thought and support to William and our whole family. While he had his SEEG surgeries and was in the hospital. Billy was wonderful and kept everyone updated. And I’m truly glad he did. I just wasn’t able to. I just wasn’t even able to be on my phone at all. Let alone on social media. Really just was to overwhelming. I am sorry. My only priority was William. I know some people were upset at me but all that mattered at that time was my son! I hope everyone but those few ppl understand. You really don’t get it unless you are in that situation. 

Billy was updated me as well with everyone’s comments and kind words. Thank you thank you thank you truly means more than you know. I can’t believe how wonderfully nice people are. Very very touching. A simple thank you isn’t enough. 

We have been home a week. A week today. He is recovering well. As well as expected after brain surgery. Said 4-6 weeks for recovery recovery and the stitches. Just in time for the next surgery… this do this all over again:/ And thus next surgery is wayyy more invasive. The removal of two areas of the brain. Simalar to his 2007 brain surgery. The removal of his left frontal lobe. The two areas are in the back right. Frickin scary stuff I tell ya! Never an easy decision. Just the words brain surgery!

I always want the best for my kids. No matter what that is. And this right now is just what’s best for William. No matter how scary this is. He’s such a strong kid. Stronger than me I tell you. In front of him and Cooper  I ‘somewhat’ hold it together. I have to! Inside I’m a mess. How could I not be?!? But I gotta do what I gotta go. Definitely couldn’t without Billy by my side. Decisions are made together! Everything is done together! We are lucky truly truly lucky. I have parents ask me how I get Billy to be involved?!?! how I get him to stick around?!?! Shocks me! He’s Williams father. I don’t ‘get him’ or ‘make him’ do anything. Truly lucky!!!

Tomorrow William turns 15 yrs old! How is that even…. My baby 15!! Damn!! I know it’s only 20 days into 2017 but man this has been The longest year ever so far!! 

I know I’ve been MIA. Explained a bit with Williams surgeries and hospital. A lot more happened before and I have blogs written out for all that and will be getting them out soon. Backtracking a bit but hey… I dunno how I’ll feel during the next surgery about being on social media and all until that time comes but if I feel the same please everyone understand. Billy is great at keeping everyone up to date. Just know it’s not personal if I shut down and people out. I just can’t. I know I always say blogging makes me feel better writing it all down getting it all out. And yes that’s true very true and I’m still writing it out. Just need to disappear and focus on my boy. 
Thank you all! Soo soo much. More than anyone knows. 

Thank you